S T R O N G E R {OPEN}

[david]

That that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

» He was so far out of his element that his head ought to be spinning. But there was no time for that. Like when he was much younger, he had to suck it up- and fast. He no longer had the liberty of staying in a funk all day, or randomly drinking because he felt like it. He could no longer cry at night, like he had all too many times in the last decade and a half- because now there would be a tired, worried little voice asking him if he was okay. No, he wasn't okay. But he'd lied to the little boy- Yes, I'm okay.- and told him to go back to bed. He was no longer all by himself in his small apartment. All in all, though, it wasn't bad. Having Rocky come to stay with him wasn't like having a newborn baby- the five-year-old boy slept through the night most nights (it had been about a week, and the first couple of nights were the kind that they were both up all night, because Rocky had been crying about his mother), knew how to use the bathroom, and was fairly easy to please food-wise; had David known how much the kid liked Hot Pockets, he probably would have foregone the DNA test- the kid HAD to be his. He just needed a little attention is all. David decided to take two weeks or so off work- which barely put a dent in the number of accumulated days off he had- so that he and the small boy could get to know each other a little more. Slowly, it seemed as though David was actually gaining more patience in a short amount of time. He was a lot less apt to yell at people, and certainly hadn't been violent around Rocky. Some might even say the little kid was a good influence on David; and he wouldn't exactly disagree.

» One problem, though, was that the boy didn't come with much. His favorite teddy, which he'd been holding when David first met him, was nearly worn out, and he only had a couple changes of clothes- David asked about where the other stuff was, and was never given a clear answer- which wouldn't last long, considering that David did laundry only when he had to. In any case, David decided they needed to go to the mall; find Rocky some new clothes, and maybe a new teddy bear or something. David despised malls, but he kept his cool. He couldn't let the boy, who was already somewhat of a scaredy-cat as it was, see him angry; he had a hard enough time getting Rocky to trust him when he first arrived, and wasn't about to let them go back to square one. He held Rocky's hand as they walked into the large building. David started heading down the hall, not really looking for anywhere in particular, and not really paying attention, when he felt Rocky pull on his hand. He looked down. "Hmm?" Rocky pointed at a store called Build-A-Bear Workshop. "Bear?" he asked, looking up at David; his near-perfect mirror image. David paused for a second, then nodded. "Of course." He leaned down and picked Rocky up, who shrieked happily, and placed him on his shoulders. Rocky liked being so high up, and wasn't scared. "Bears, ahoy!" David held Rocky's hands carefully and started, fairly quickly, towards Build-A-Bear.

OPEN FOR ANYONE. <3

[orls02]

& and it h u r t s so bad;
&`cause it’s all in my h e a d;

For one who didn’t like crowds so much and downright hated malls, Sydney was walking through the crowded place with ease. Her steps were light and fast and her face was calm, rather than a mask of tension and aggravation. Her spirit and tan had both been renewed by her jaunt up to Satan’s Dive the day before. The time spent alone with just the wind and waves had done wonders for her demeanor. Sydney had managed to get through a whole day at work without getting the urge to scream and throw pointy objects at people. That was something that didn’t happen as often as it used to. Keeping that in mind, Sydney made a mental note to take more frequent trips up to Satan’s Dive. It was a pretty place—and gorgeously secluded—and she hadn’t felt so refreshed, so revived in years. It wasn’t like she had done some serious soul searching or anything; she had just gone up there and dozed off for a while, actually. Just being away from the life she knew in town was more than enough to make her feel like she was a million miles away. She had come back down feeling more like her old self—the one that liked helping people and being personable ... to a point.

Walking through the mall, Sydney’s eyes roved over the store signs. She hadn’t been in the mall for a while, preferring to con her buddy Jenn into going for her instead. But, this was a special occasion. It was Jenn’s birthday in a few days, and sending her to buy her own birthday gift was just tacky. Sydney knew that Jenn had an enormous collection of stuffed bears dating back to when she was a baby, so she thought a special friendship bear would be the perfect gift. She could pick up a cute card on her way home from work tomorrow. Ah! There it was! Sydney finally saw the sign for the Build-A-Bear Workshop. She already had a design picked out for Jenn’s bear and knew that her friend would love it. All that was left was to actually make the bear and fight her way back through the crowds to get home.

Although she was a people watcher, Sydney tended to avoid looking through the mall’s crowd. She usually had enough trouble finding her way from store to store without worrying about who was around her. It was this lack of attention paid to the crowd that had allowed her to walk right through the crowd without recognizing anyone. After she managed to worm herself through the crowd and into the store, Sydney gave the clerk a big grin. “It’s some busy out there!” she said, “Hi, I’m Sydney Fuller. I called earlier this week to make sure you had the materials to make a special bear for my friend’s birthday.”

The clerk nodded and led Sydney over to the table where a few other people—mostly people with smaller children who watched with wonder as their bears came to life before their very eyes—were already working on their own creations. Sydney listened as the clerk explained how the whole process worked, and then she got herself ready, tucking her watch safely into the pocket of her cargo shorts.

&every time i c l o s e my eyes i lock it down oh;
I can’t go on not l o v i n g you;

[david]

That that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

» Rocky was just a smaller, less-toned version of David, truth be told. The boy had his father's intense blue eyes and raven hair- hell, he was even taller than most children his age. How his mother had managed to convince her husband that he was Rocky's father, especially considering that the man had known David before David came here, would always be a mystery to him. Even to people who didn't know David, and didn't have any background in Genetics whatsoever would find it fairly obvious- the two were related.

» Normally irritated by the laughter of children, David couldn't help but smile as he heard Rocky laughing when they entered the store. Okay, so he had a definite soft spot for the little guy- who wouldn't? The kid was dead-adorable, or so David thought. But didn't all parents seem to think that about their kids? David was still getting used to being a dad, and was hoping his enthusiasm wasn't solely the aftereffect of such a shock. Most of his joy from hearing Rocky laugh came from the fact that, the entire first day and subsequent nights were spent trying to get the boy to stop crying over his mother. David couldn't say he knew what the boy was going through exactly- hell, if he were told his mother had died, his reaction would be Rocky's polar opposite- but he did know what it was like to mourn someone for a long time. Yes, Rocky was definitely his, and not only by DNA. He looked around for a second, not taking a second glance at anyone, and slowly crouched down so Rocky could slide off of his shoulders. They hadn't really gone out much, because the boy was so skittish, and David was afraid he might run off. But since the boy was beginning to trust him, he figured, why not? They could both use a little interaction with someone other than each other.

» David couldn't say he came to Build-A-Bear often- obviously, since he avoided malls at all costs, and the store was usually in a mall...- but it didn't take a genius to figure out how things worked. Obviously, you'd have to have an animal picked first, to make sure the clothes would fit- what would fit for a mouse wouldn't work for a monkey, right?- and of course, stuffing was useless without the animal to put it in. "What kind of animal do you want to make?" Rocky thought for a second- not because he wasn't sure, but because he was trying to remember the word for it. "Obyezyana..?" he said in broken Russian. David laughed a little and nodded. "A monkey." He'd been teacher Rocky how to say animal names in Russian, and the little boy was soaking it in at an amazing rate. "Go on, go find one and we'll find some clothes for it." Rocky squealed a little, and started running for the other end of the store, where the animal shells were kept.

» David stood up and surveyed the various animal clothes. He was amazed that anybody would be able to come up with such things. Kids now-a-days... He shook his head. But then he noticed some Dress Blues for the animals and had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing so hard that he'd call attention to himself. This was getting ridiculous! Meanwhile, the unsupervised Rocky, too excited to pay attention to where he was going, ran straight into Sydney. He stopped, and looked up at her, half scared to death. "Uhh.. uhh.. Sor- sorry...?"

[orls02]

&so let m e r c y come and wash away;
&what i’ve d o n e;

Sydney thought the idea of some of the clothes was a little ridiculous. Bears weren’t supposed to have clothing. Well, maybe a shirt, like Pooh Bear. As it was, Sydney already knew exactly what the bear she was making would look like. Jenn had showed her a picture not too long ago of a bear she had since she was born that got lost in a move, or given to a younger relative—she couldn’t remember which. She had loved that bear so much, so Sydney decided she was going to make a replica of the bear for Jenn’s birthday. She knew her friend would love it to death. She had even called in early to check to see if they had the right fabric in the color she needed. It was a bit of a hassle to plan it so much in advance, but it would be well worth it to see Jenn’s face when she pulled the bear from the box.

Sydney picked up the fabric the bear would be made of and smiled. It was so soft and fuzzy, perfect for cuddling up to. It was no wonder Jenn missed her bear so much. Like Sydney, Jenn was a total bachelorette and wasn’t always thrilled with sleeping alone constantly. Sydney had Zeus and Boscoe for company, but Jenn didn’t even have a cat. The poor girl was deathly allergic. So, she spent little time over at Sydney’s. They tended to either go out on the town or hang out at Jenn’s place when they spent time together. For instance, Sydney was planning on taking Jenn out to dinner and a movie on her birthday. Mood-depending they might even hit a club before going home.

With a final rub of her hand across the soft fabric, Sydney moved on to fill the bear. It had to be filled just right. It needed to be full, but still very squishy—for those moments you needed a hug and no one/nothing else was around. A bear was always good for that sort of thing. Sydney gathered up the filling, rubbing it between her fingers to get a feel for the consistency and texture. It seemed like it would make a nice sturdy, but squishable, bear. She’d been just about to put it into the machine to start filling the bear when something ran smartly into her leg. She looked down and was amazed to see a small child both new to her eyes yet oddly familiar. The poor guy looked scared to death as he stammered out an apology. Sydney felt her heart melt ... he was just too cute! She took a small handful of stuffing and tickled the end of his nose with it. “Don’t worry about it,” she said, giving him a warm smile as she crouched down to be closer to his height. “Who are you here with?” she asked, looking around, thinking that no child this age should be running around on their own.

&t o d a y this ends;
&i’m f o r g i v i n g what i’ve done;

[david]

That that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

» The mind of a child was easily distracted- thus, when Rocky's nose was tickled by stuffing, he almost completely forgot what he was heading to get before colliding with Sydney. It probably didn't help that his father was all but the epitome of severe adult ADHD. He giggled, the typical silly-sounding high-pitched giggle of a five-year-old. It was a welcome change from all the crying he'd been doing over the last week and a half. He looked at Sydney, wide-eyed as she crouched down- he was definitely not used to someone getting to his level, especially considering the giant he now lived with. He watched her for a second, looking as if he were unsure how to answer. His whole life, he'd called his mother's husband my daddy, and now, he was being told that this other guy was really that person. It was almost too much for his kindergarten-age brain to comprehend. If he were a bit older, it would be easier to explain to him the situation, but that was several years away. For now, he would just have to accept what he was being told, and ask questions another time. He blinked a little, then pivoted to look around the store before pointing to David, who was still enthralled by the animal clothes.

» They weren't particularly interesting, design-wise- many were just solid-colored shirts or pants, or a leather jacket or hat, some shoes...etcetera. But for some reason, unknown to him or anyone else, they fascinated David. They looked like baby clothes to him, even though he was pretty sure none would fit a baby- not a healthy one, anyway. The clothes had caused him to temporarily forget why he had entered the store in the first place, and who he'd come with. In all fairness, David was still very new to the whole 'dad' thing, and this was all sprung on him very suddenly, with his only warning being told to take a DNA test. With a little more time- hopefully not too much, or both he and the boy would be totally fucked- he could come to be a bit more attentive to Rocky, and concentrate long enough to keep an eye on the boy. But for now, he was still learning.

» He suddenly remembered Rocky, though what jogged his memory could only be described as a complete mystery, and started looking around, and saw him standing by a woman who was crouching in front of him. The boy was blocking his view of her face. He sighed a little. "Rocky," he said in a gentle, yet firm voice, approaching him and crouching down as well. "Don't run off like that." Rocky blinked at David. "You told me to go get a monkey..." David laughed a little. "Touche`, little guy... I'm sorry, was he bother- " He halted his speech suddenly, for when he leaned a little to get a look at the woman's face, he realized, it was Sydney.

[orls02]

&it's not the w o r l d;
&that i am c h a n g i n g;

Sydney couldn’t help but smile when the little guy laughed. It wasn’t a sound she heard all that often. Looking at his wide-eyed stare and the pure simplicity of his youth made her wonder what kind of monster could actually bring themselves to harm a child. They were practically defenseless and—for the most part—absolutely adorable. It was all Sydney could do to hold back the tears whenever a young child was wheeled into her morgue. She wasn’t the most touchy-feely person in the world, but she still got emotional when she saw how senselessly life was wasted. It was enough to make her sick some days. A child was a miraculous thing. It seemed that the people that really, really wanted one could try for years with no results, but there were loads of abortions each year, not to mention the unwanted teenage pregnancies as well. It was sad. Sydney wasn’t 100% sure if she ever wanted kids, but she did like spending time with kids. But, she certainly didn’t want be a single mother ... that would be just too much with the job she had. She’d definitely want a significant other of some sort if she was going to have kids. Not necessarily a husband, but at least a steady boyfriend.

Seeing that the boy was unsure of how to answer, Sydney got worried at first. He hadn’t gotten lost, had he? Sydney had gotten lost in the mall once as a child and it had scared the living hell out of her—which might explain her dislike of malls and crowds. But, when he turned and pointed to the man, Sydney felt relief flood through her. But, why hadn’t he just said he was there with his father/brother/uncle? Maybe his home life had changed ... maybe that wasn’t even a direct relation, more like his mother’s boyfriend or something. Who knew? Sydney wasn’t about to ask, since it really was absolutely none of her business. She had just been about to suggest they go back to the man the kid had pointed out when she saw him turn around. From the angle she was at, all she could really see were his legs, but she could see that he was heading their way. When he crouched down, Sydney wasn’t actually looking at him; she was watching the boy in front of her.

When he started speaking, Sydney turned to look at him—and just managed to keep herself from falling over backwards. Needless to say, David was the very last person that she expected to see here. And he was even more so the last person she expected that the kid would have pointed to. Looking between them, Sydney felt her heart sink when she realized why the boy looked so familiar. He was a miniature David. She’d had no clue that he had a son ... or any kids for that matter. It was almost impossible for her to believe. He just didn’t seem to be the father type. “No need to apologize,” she said, trying to smooth over the vaguely awkward silence that was hanging between them. “Boys will be boys, after all.”

&i do this so this w o r l d will know;
&that it will not c h a n g e me;

[david]

That that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

» Never one to get attached quickly, especially after everything started going so terribly wrong, David was surprised to realize that he loved this little boy. He could think of many reasons why he would, though some things confused him. One, he was adorable. Of course, most small children were, with the exception of a select few, who would undoubtedly have their lives be made a living hell a few years down the road. He was really sweet, and eager to please. David didn't have to tell him twice to go to bed, or brush his teeth, or anything like that. He was always hugging his father, which for some reason, David seemed to actually like- he was definitely not used to being shown so much affection. He was much like David himself, and not just physically. The little guy had been through a lot so far; David wasn't sure how the family dynamic was over there, and doubted that he was abused at all, but when you're five years old, the death of a parent is pretty traumatizing, and the fact that Rocky had had to deal with the death of his "father" and then his mother just made David want to hold him and comfort him. But what was confusing him was why it felt.. well, right... to him. He always hated kids- couldn't stand their noises, their messes, or their existence, for that matter. But with Rocky, it was all so different. It was as if, for David, nothing about Rocky was irritating.

» He nodded a little. Boys will be boys... "Don't I know it," he said with a small laugh. Didn't he know it! He was a pain in the ass as a child- before Alexei was born and his father left, his home life was pretty normal, and he could run around and play without having to deal with dodging flying beer bottles. He would always hide from his mother, play mean little pranks on her, and she would laugh... He didn't remember the sound of her laugh. Anyway, if life had continued to be normal, and David had been with her during his teen years instead of with some family he didn't even know, he probably would have heard the term every pain-in-the-ass teenager heard from their parental units: I hope you have one just like you. So far, Rocky wasn't a pain-in-the ass, though David assumed that was because he was still getting used to the new environment. Time would tell if David had, indeed, had one just like himself.

» He stood up easily and lightly patted Rocky on the back. "Go get your monkey now." Rocky looked up at him, nodded with a big, bright smile and ran toward his original destination. David watched him, to make sure he didn't run into anyone else, then looked back at Sydney and offered his hand to help her up- he didn't think she'd need his help, and highly doubted she'd even want it, but felt as though he needed to at least attempt to offer. "He doesn't nor- Well, actually, I don't know what he normally acts like." He made a face. David felt like such a deadbeat. None of it was his fault- he hadn't left New York to avoid a kid; in fact, if he knew Rocky existed, and there was a possibility it was his, he would have come right back, even if it meant that he would have to deal with an angry husband. Was it David's fault he was never told? He'd gotten a letter shortly after Rocky arrived, from the boy's mother (written, obviously, before she died, and sent probably shortly after, but by who, he didn't know) but hadn't opened it. Did he really need to open up an old wound? It may offer some answers to lingering questions, but what if it left more? He didn't want to have to deal with it. And so, the letter sat in a box with other things David was decidedly not acknowledging. "Cute little bugger, isn't he?"

[orls02]

&i will n e v e r know myself;
&until i do this on my o w n;

Sydney honestly didn’t know what to think or feel. Lately, after their last two meetings, she’d begun to cool off towards David. Before they ever spoke face to face, she’d had a fairly large crush on him, but after their encounters she realized that there was no point in torturing herself over him since he clearly was nowhere near her type. She had spent the last few days convincing herself that he possessed no desirable traits for her. After all, he was arrogant, stubborn, and far too self-confident. Wait … was she describing David or herself? Sydney had realized that the majority of the problematic tension between her and David was mostly caused by the fact that they were so similar. Most people think that personality clashes happen only between polar opposites, but that’s not true. People can be so similar that they dislike each other, simply for the fact that they see what they don’t like about themselves in the other person. Whether that was the case or not, Sydney had worked hard at forgetting about David.

But, seeing him here and now changed everything. He was obviously a different person around the kid. She knew that everyone was perfectly capable of being a certain way around some people and totally different around others, but something inside of her head told her that it wasn’t the case here. David seemed to really have changed. Not entirely, judging by the look he gave her when he first saw her face, but enough so that he seemed to be able to behave civilly. She couldn’t help but smile at his comment about how he knew that boys would be boys. “I take it you were a bit of a hell raiser when you were younger,” she teased gently, trying not to push any of the wrong buttons. She watched as David sent the little guy off, grinning at the kid’s enthusiasm. She watched him run off, wishing wistfully that she still had that type of energy.

She was shocked to turn back and find David offering her a hand in getting up. Normally, if she knew how to read the person offering the help, Sydney would just get up on her own, but things were different with David. She kind of liked the easy peace that had settled between them now, and didn’t exactly want to go around screwing it up. So, in order to keep the peace, Sydney took David’s hand as she stood. “Thanks,” she said, looking at her feet for a moment. She looked over at the kid as he was choosing his animal, but her gaze went back to David when he admitted that he didn’t really know how he acted normally. She gave him a questioning look as he made a face. “Sprung on you, was he?” she asked gently. She’d seen it before, and thought it sucked. Parents had a right to know that they had children when that child was born, even if they’re not allowed to see them; they still had a right to know they existed. She glanced back over at the boy when David mentioned how cute he was. She grinned she turned back to David, unable to deny the fact. “He seems to take after you in the looks department,” she teased.

&i will b r e a k away;
&i'm finding m y s e l f today;

[david]

That that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

» David would, looking back, define himself as a horrible child that needed to be sent to the DH. Seeing him now, one might never guess it, but he was completely unruly as a child. At home, he would not obey his mother. He wouldn't clean up his messes, and often made some of purpose. He would go outside and play in the mud right after getting a bath, and then resist with all his might when she tried to make him take another one. He learned to talk back almost as soon as he started talking. Whenever his mother would take him to work with her, David would run around bothering people the whole time, and, if his memory served him correctly, he broke things and then covered up the fact that he did, often getting employees in trouble for it. Having gained the ability to walk at around eight months old- although unsteady, he could walk- he was always getting into things, climbing on things, and even broke his arm for the first time when he was a year old, which nearly worried his mother to death, especially when child services had a talk with her; sometimes David wondered how different his life would have been if they had determined it was her fault... At school, he was almost worse. He was in Kindergarten not even a week before they'd had enough of David's antics. He was always getting up from the designated play area to go over and do something else. If the teacher wanted him to do something he didn't want to do, he simply wouldn't do it. He told the teacher off almost every morning, and was in the principal's office every day at least once. The last straw had been the glue and the whoopee cushion he put in the teacher's chair. That had finally gotten him kicked out- probably for the best. He learned more at home than he had in a structured school environment... Of course, around here, things were different. The schools were much better in the US. "Oh, yes. Quite a handful." If David ever caught Rocky behaving as he himself had, he would crack down hard on the discipline. He wasn't sure exactly what he would do, and thus far had not a reason to think about it, but knew he would definitely do it if he needed to. He'd be damned if his kid was ending up in Juvy, or Jail.

» He nodded slowly. All he'd gotten was a phone call from someone- he didn't even know who, even though they probably told him, but he wasn't paying attention. ...died. it had said, Rocky's mother's name being the first word. And I care...why? David had become completely detached from the woman. He didn't hate her, per se- it was her choice completely to not leave her husband, and he had quietly gone away with no bitterness attached. It stung for a little while, but David would always deny that it broke his heart- that was with Miranda. Still, he didn't really know why they'd told him about her death- was it his business, really? The next words were the ones that really got his attention. She had a five-year-old boy, and shortly before her death mentioned to someone that it might be yours. The rest was all obvious. David shrugged. "Adapt and overcome." He glanced at Rocky and back at Sydney. "Long story... Not really, but nothing that he needs to hear." He doubted that Rocky would be able to hear their conversation, but also knew that, if he started telling Sydney the whole story, he would stop paying attention to the boy's location, and his luck, Rocky would come over and hear everything. That, and he was still wary of Sydney; was she really someone he could trust with his dark past?

» He hadn't spoken to her since their encounter in the gym. He hadn't really been avoiding her, really, so much as not making an effort to run into her. He wasn't scared of her, and didn't hate her. But he wasn't completely sure it was worth the energy it took to be able to interact with her- it seemed like every time they spoke, they started arguing, and last time it even got physical. That last thing David needed was to lose his self-control and really hurt her. This time may be different, if only because Rocky was there. They were speaking like civilized adults, and there hadn't been any yelling as of yet. Could they really start arguing with a little boy at David's side?

» David caught himself looking Sydney over and forced himself to look away just in time to see Rocky coming back over with a "deflated" monkey in his hands. "You want to put clothes on him?" Rocky nodded, and David pointed him in the direction of the clothes, while not moving himself.

[orls02]

&it's the end of the w o r l d as we know it;
&it's the end of the w o r l d as we know it;

Sydney felt herself decidedly drawn to this side of David. He was changed, but kept just enough of his old self to remind her of why she had fallen for him the first time. But, it also helped that she had gone to the beach to let the anxiety and stress of the past few weeks wash away on the ocean breeze. She knew that she had been wound up pretty tight the last few times they had met, and that certainly hadn’t helped things at all. In the end, it was probably she that threw the spark onto the gasoline-soaked wood between them. It was like her mother always said ... if you play with fire you were bound to get burned. And burned she certainly got ... and the marks of said burning were just fading now. She hadn’t thought that David had grabbed her that hard in the gym, but there were slowly lightening bruises around her wrist where he had snagged it. Sydney blamed herself for the whole thing, bruises, dislocation, and all; she had pushed him after all. It was probably no more than she had deserved ... although Syd knew more than a few people who would have handled it differently. That being said though, all those people knew Sydney well and knew how she got after a few weeks of little sleep and tough cases.

“Only a handful, eh?” Sydney teased, arching one brow dubiously at David. She had the feeling that he was a right little hellion, but she wasn’t going to openly accuse him of it. She thought it was kind of cute—the way he was so nonchalantly waving it off as if he only had the occasional misbehavior. She followed David’s gaze over to the boy and her mouth set into a firm line when he said it was nothing the boy needed to hear. “That’s true,” she said, turning back to David. “No child that age needs to hear the details that a good many adults wouldn’t deal with well. If it’s any consolation, you seem to be doing an amazing job with him. To look at him, you’d never know that he hadn’t been living this life for his entire life.” And her words were genuine. In her eyes, Rocky was exactly the way she pictured a 5-year-old to be. Energetic, full of wonder, curious, but with the mild reserve of knowing right from wrong.

Sydney felt David looking her over and fought the mad desire to flush furiously. She managed to keep herself composed by watching the boy select his animal and come bouncing back to them. She glanced to David when he directed the boy over to the clothes department for the bears—or whatever—and was a little stunned when he didn’t go himself. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear self-consciously, but it stubbornly fell back down over her face. “How long has he been with you, if you don’t mind my asking,” Sydney asked, glancing back over at the kid.

&it's the end of the w o r l d as we know it;
&i feel f i n e;

[david]

That that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

» He snorted a little, shuffling his body. "I was actually a perfect little angel. Well-behaved and everything. My mother was thrilled. Always a teacher's pet... That kind of thing." He assumed the pose of something that was obviously lying to make themselves seem better, and was making no effort to hide it. He'd been the exact opposite of everything he just said. Instead of being a teacher's pet, he was their worst nightmare. He was certainly smart enough to have been a teacher's pet, but his behavior was incorrigible. If that had been under control, he cold have been an excellent student. As far as home... well, being young, his parents weren't the best in the world, and not so strict on discipline. With this information, one might assume it was David's own fault for the way his mom acted later on- at least to some degree- but then they would end up missing teeth, so nobody ever said anything if they knew.

» "Well I guess it's good that I haven't eaten him yet... Some animals do that to their young." Anyone that knew David would know he hated kids. They made weird noises, they smelled, they asked dumb questions, their sense of humor consisted of crap only they could understand and therefore wasn't funny, they just had to watch cartoons all day, they whined too much, if they were hungry they had to eat NOW, they were stupid... The list could go on forever, in David's mind. Before, he was avoiding children at all costs. If he could go his whole life without interacting with them, he would be happy. The few people from work who knew about Rocky had all but placed bets on how long it would take David to go insane. He could barely handle the rare occasions when an officer would bring his own small kid to work- how was he to handle living and taking care of a five-year-old? They all said collectively that the kid would end up in therapy, and that David would probably act like a drill instructor, treating the kid like a recruit. They were almost completely wrong. The first day was hard for David, since it was the first time in his life since leaving his foster home that he was living with someone else. He had to clean up his act impossibly fast and, as much as he hated to do it, had to get rid of all the alcohol in the house- that, for him, was the worst part, since he'd developed a habit of having a few cold ones before going to bed at night. His buddies were all too happy to take it off his hands. David had been so jealous of the ones that were still free to do whatever they wished.

» He shrugged a little at her question. "Around a week I guess. He's still settling in." Wait a second, was it really her business? Anyone else, David would have told to fuck off and mind their own beeswax. He didn't like answering questions about his personal life- as far as they were concerned, he didn't have one. So he couldn't figure out why he was having no problem answering Sydney's questions. That, and he was being forthcoming. Any other time, if he were to feel forced to answer questions, he would BS them. He would make something up on the spot, and give an answer that was complete bullshit, a total lie.

» David shuffled a little, watching Rocky like a hawk. He didn't like the idea of being in one place for so long- he liked to be moving, whether that meant running or moving in some other way. He still had really bad ADHD, and as always, refused to take the medicine; it took his personality away, and he would basically become a blob. He hoped Rocky wouldn't be required to be on any medicines like he himself was at a young age. "So why are you here?"

[orls02]

&le monde a tellement de r e g r e t s;
&tellement de c h o s e s qu’on promet;

Sydney laughed softly when David replied. It was obvious that he was lying, but he seemed to be having fun with that lie, so she didn’t bother to call him on it. Besides, who was she to be the one to ruin the decent moment they were sharing? It wasn’t like they were having an intensely romantic moment or anything corny like that, but considering the past moments between them, this was pretty nice. It was a far more comfortable atmosphere than ever before, and Sydney was having no trouble speaking to David like the two adults they were. Thinking back, Sydney hadn’t exactly been a perfect angel either. She hadn’t been too, too bad, but she’d certainly had her moments where she had tried her parents’ patience near to the point of snapping. Although, after her mother’s death, Sydney had become decidedly easier on her father, simply because they needed each other more than ever—especially after Theresa moved away. “Wow, you were that good, huh? You’re not some sort of alien drone, are you? I don’t think it’s possible for any child to be a perfect little angel,” she teased.

His comment about eating the boy caught Sydney so off guard that she laughed right out loud. “Eat him?! Well ... I suppose it is possible, but that’s called cannibalism ... and that’s frowned upon in most societies,” she retorted, still chuckling. The sardonic comment made Sydney think that maybe the side of David she was used to seeing was the kid-friendly model. Truth be told, Sydney could only handle certain kids and usually only for a small amount of time. She suspected that those feelings would change when it was her own child she was dealing with—and that might explain why David now came in a kid-friendly model, for his son anyway. But, at the same time, Sydney could only speculate. She had—after all—never seen David outside of work, aside from the one altercation at Starbucks. And, neither of them had really been in the mindset for an encounter, so for all she knew he was just a real softie at heart and like this for the majority of the time. Even as she thought these things, Sydney dismissed them. Just one look at David told her all she needed to know. He was still the same person, just wrapped up in layers of new emotions that kept the original at bay for the boy’s sake. It was still nice to know that he was capable.

To be perfectly honest, Sydney was a little surprised that he had answered her question. He had no reason to divulge any information to her. Heck ... he didn’t even have any reason to be polite to her save for the boy’s sake. But, that didn’t mean that he had to stick around to talk to her while the boy went off to choose clothing for the monkey. Sydney had actually expected David to sort of wander off while letting the conversation sort of drift off. “A week, huh?” she said, half to herself. “He seems to be settling in well. At least he doesn’t seem afraid of you or being in a new place.”

Watching David shuffle around, Sydney wondered if he was impatient to leave the conversation. He was watching over the boy like a hawk over its eggs. She looked down at her hands when he asked her why she was there. It was a valid question. One didn’t just wander into the Build-A-Bear workshop for no reason. She held up the deflated bear and handful of stuffing in a defeated gesture. “It’s my friend’s birthday in a few days, and I’m recreating a childhood memory that got lost in one of her moves,” she admitted with a sheepish grin. “She’ll be 30 and she’s asking for a teddy bear for her birthday. Go figure.”

&une s e u l e pour laquelle je suis fait;
&je t’aimais, je t’aime, et je t ’ a i m e r a i;

[david]

That that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

» There were times- mostly when he was still a child- when David
wondered whet her it was his own fault that they treated him
like they did. Maybe if he had just been a good little boy, like the
one he was half-assedly trying to convince Sydney that he was- he
wouldn't have all those scars. Maybe his father would have stuck
around. Maybe his behavior was what had driven his mother to start
drinking and prostituting, instead of finding a real job and staying
sober. If he had ever gone to a therapist- which his foster parents
had tried to get him to do soon after he arrived in the states, which
failed because David simply pretended, when with the therapist, that
he was having trouble understand English- he would have been told that
it wasn't his fault. There were children much more difficult than him
whose parents didn't react in such a way. But therapists creeped him
out, and besides the fact that he was too stubborn, the very title
irked him. Therapist. The-rapist. Yeah. He simply grinned evilly.
"I was the perfect devil of a child. I'm pretty sure my
former teachers are in an asylum by now. Or dead. They've got to be
ancient. They were already old farts back then, so they're probably
walking corpses now."[ He shrugged a little, not really giving
a crap about any of his former teachers- Russian and otherwise. They
had been the bane of his existence, and as far as he cared, he'd see
them in Hell and give them a great old time once again.

» "Then I'll take him to Korea and at him. They eat cats
and have a population problem… Or is that China? I think Korea's the
one that eats dogs. Or maybe that was Germany. Aw, whatever. He
probably tastes like rotten sushi anyway. Dipped in flowers. Ew. Cute,
though. On the outside. I'd much rather not see his innards."
Without realizing it, he was starting to somewhat let his guard down.
As he had a tendency to quite often do, he had slipped into a lengthy
string of complete bullshit, for the sake of his own amusement- and
Sydney's. Unlike he usually did, he didn't stop himself as soon as he
realized the rather volumous stream of bullshit pouring from his
mouth. His stories never made sense, and he made connections that
often he just pulled out of his ass. It was something, anyway. Better
than a long, awkward silence.

» He paused for a long moment. Why had he answered her
question? It was none of her damn business how long Rocky had been
with him. Technically, nothing was her damn business- the boy's name,
age… anything, really. If he wanted to, David could actually have told
Sydney to fuck off and mind her own business, or just made up
something that she would later find to be false. Strange as it seemed,
that would have taken less energy for David that telling her the
truth, but her did speak the truth. It was a huge step for him, though
most people didn't know, want to know, or care. Something, he didn't
know what, compelled him to tell the truth. Not everything, obviously,
because that would have been more trouble than it was worth for David,
but part of it, and technically, as far as David could tell, that was
all she'd asked for.

» Another small grin. "There's nothing wrong with that.
Teddy Bears are a good thing. Wasn't that Roosevelt dude the whole
reason they exist? Yeah, he refused to shoot a bear, so they started
making plush ones and named them after him." He paused for a
second, yawned, and stretched. "And that's all I remember
about 7th grade history. Thank you, random generic old fart
X." Another yawn. Then, "So technically, you're
giving your friend a little piece of history there. And she wants some
history. Ahh, nice. Plus, you know, they're just cute. Except those
ones that have, like, no eyes. Those are weird. Like they're watching
you… without eyes." He was about to continue his third
rambling story when Rocky came over, showing David the monkey's
clothes he'd picked out. To David's shock, they were miniature Dress
Blues. Now where in the world did he get that idea?
"Why'd you pick those, little dude?" he asked,
just out of curiosity. It was probably nothing, he figured. The colors
must have attracted the young child. Rocky offered a huge, bright
smile. "So he can look like you!" David couldn't help but
smile. The little boy must have gotten into the box of pictures he
kept in the closet, many of which featured David in BDUs or his Dress
Blues. "I'm hungry." David laughed a little. This was
definitely his kid; mind constantly jumping from one thing to the
next, often without sufficient transition, which often left people
lost. "Go fill him with fluff first, then we'll get out
of here." As Rocky ran to the fluff machine to fill his
monkey, David turned back to Sydney and leaned close- not even sure
why, but it wasn't like the rest of the store needed to know what he
was saying- "I know this all got started in a
particularly shitty fashion, but I could stall him for a bit if you
wanted to join us…"

[orls02]

&i don't know w h a t it is;
&but i think i'm falling in l o v e;

Sydney wasn’t 100% sure what to think of all this, but she couldn’t deny that she was enjoying it. It was a very different situation from the last time that she and David … “interacted.” It was a really nice feeling to know that they could both just set aside any negative feelings and get through more than 5 seconds without trying to kill each other. It was quite possible that they might even make good friends if they could keep this up. While she was pretty sure the only thing keeping tempers in check was the fact that Rocky was around, she was hopeful that once this encounter ended they would both come to realize that it was possible to speak to each other without screaming, flinging insults, or throwing punches/objects at each other. To be perfectly honest, they would probably never be 100% civil 100% of the time, but at least now they knew that they could be civil most of the time. It wasn’t really all that hard to do, but sometimes you just needed to scream, and as luck would have it Sydney and David always seemed to find each other at that time. Go figure, right?

She let him go off on his little tangent, fully enjoying the complete randomness that he was pulling out of midair. His affidavit about his teachers and their ages made Sydney grin, she could remember a fair few old biddies in the Catholic school she had been forced to attend for the first 8 years of her schooling. After the move she was enrolled into public school and enjoyed everything much more. Syd never was much of a religious person. She respected that other people were and that was fine, but she saw no need to believe in something or someone that allowed such cruel things to happen to innocent people while that being claimed to be loving and kind. It just made no sense to her. So, she swore herself an Atheist and eliminated all aspects of religion in her life, including Christmas and Easter. She got mocked for those, but she didn’t see the point in celebrating the birth and death of a man she didn’t even believe in. It felt hypocritical and weird.

And, if Sydney had found David’s spiel about his teachers amusing, she was totally unprepared for the random tangent of Korea. She actually laughed out loud as she listened to him. When he finally paused, she managed to rein in her laughter and just shook her head. “I’m not sure I even want to know where it is your mind goes to get those ideas,” she said, “But, I’ll give you credit … no one’s been able to surprise me with something like that in a long time.” Sydney found herself wondering if every “normal” conversation with David was like this, although such subjects in the middle of a mall store could hardly be classed as completely normal. But, if this was his typical conversation style, Sydney could see herself never getting bored if and when they spoke to each other. She found herself feeling very relaxed, and even safe, around David now that they had at least set aside the hostilities. It was a nice feeling and not one that she wanted to lose anytime soon. And, she genuinely appreciated his honesty when she asked about Rocky. He could have easily bullshitted her and she might have known right away or found out later and not cared, but she did appreciate that he was making a real effort.

And here he went on another little spiel, this one half making sense. “A piece of history … sure that’s her reasoning,” Sydney quipped. “We’ll just ignore the fact that she’s a lonely bachelorette and wants something more than a pillow to hug at night.” Even though she wouldn’t admit it, Sydney had her own collection of bears and other various stuffed animals for the very same reason. She had her cat, but he was often aloof and prowled during the night. In the cooler weather he slept with her, but in the warmer weather he slept mostly in an open window to catch the night breeze. “Either which way, kudos,” she added. “It’s far more than I can remember from 7th grade history. I think I spent history classes drawing complex chemical compounds and anatomical dissections from my friend in the higher level science courses.”

When Rocky came back, Sydney grinned. He sure was a cute little kid. “Ah … one of life’s greatest truths,” she said with a wink. “Life imitates art.”

When David leaned in closer after Rocky ran off, Sydney felt her heart speed up slightly as she fought to keep her composure. It was unexpected and she was far from used to anyone doing anything like it that she felt the overwhelming urge to step away for a moment. She wasn’t quite sure what to say when he invited to stall Rocky so that she could join them. Again, it was just so unexpected, especially coming from David, that Sydney just found herself completely speechless. Finally, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, she smiled at him. “I’d like that,” she said gently. “Thanks.”

&but you filled my heart with b u t t e r f l i e s;
&i'm falling in l o v e . . .;

[david]

That that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger

» A sly grin appeared on his face. He didn't even know where half the shit he said came from, and wasn't sure he wanted to know, either. It always amused him when the same thing happened to other people, too. One of David's greatest joys in life was confusing people to the point that they just had to sit back and go 'What the fuck is this guy on about?'. He supposed that made him a bit sadistic- but, really, there weren't many things that amused him on that level.

» David snorted. Honestly, he had no interest in why Sydney's friend wanted a bear; that whole thing about history was just another one of his rambling stories. "That's not so bad," he said, looking away. He could somewhat sympathize with the friend, though- he himself was a lonely bachelor with nothing but a young son he barely knew and a cat that hated him. Of course, he wouldn't resort to wanting a teddy bear for his birthday. He had no relics from his childhood, since A: he was never given a teddy bear as a child, and B: what little he had managed to be allowed to take from his old house when they were taking him out of Russia was taken away when he went through Customs. He didn't much want any of them anymore, though- he had enough bad memories of his childhood, thank you very much, and didn't need yet another reminder every time he went to bed.

» David was never one for subtlety. If he wanted to say something, he would say it. If he had no intention of saying something, he wouldn't play mind games and make whomever he was talking to guess and beg to know what he was trying to say. As far as he was concerned, word games had no place in his conversations. On that note, he asked Sydney to come to lunch with them in the most subtle way he could think of. It was a struggle, but he knew- or at least had a strong hunch- that if he had simply stated, Come to lunch with us, he would have gotten slapped, or something. In fact, he was half-expecting a slap anyway, and quickly leaned away one arm tensed up, ready to block an open hand. He was also prepared to whine about something completely unrelated, if that was what it took for her to tag along. To his surprise, she said yes, and that made him smile. "Alrighty, then," he said in an eerily chipper tone. "I'll get him finished up, then, and we'll wait for you on that bench over there." He gestured toward a bench a couple feet away from the entrance of the store, then looked down just in time to see Rocky approaching with a stuffed bear. "I can't get the clothes on it," he said in a somewhat pouty voice. David laughed a little and picked him up, heading toward the register. "I'll take care of it in a second." At the register, he paid for the bear and clothes, and took Rocky over to the aforementioned bench.