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Realize
Jun 4, 2008 18:04:14 GMT -5
Post by ry on Jun 4, 2008 18:04:14 GMT -5
Ry watched her, not seeing what was so funny, but not able to stop the slight upward curve of his lips. He couldn’t particularly find anything humorous with the situation, but then again, Ryan never had been a joker. He laughed at the appropriate time but most of the time stuff just went right over his head, or he was so busy ignoring you he didn’t catch the joke in the first place. There was seldom a time where he could be found with a fit of the giggles, but it had happened, once. Fortunately, there were no witnesses, which might have just made the whole ordeal a bit more pathetic. The laughter certainly was out of place among all the weapons and such, but perhaps that’s what made it even more laughable, he didn’t know. Apparently, neither did she and he gave a wry chuckle of amusement at this fact. A brow rose, but he couldn’t be of any help because he wasn’t exactly sure of the word she’d been looking for. Then again, it was better than anything he had to offer to the conversation; at least she could keep her end up.
He peered down his nose at her, which was somewhat inevitable considering she was now on the floor. His lips curled downward speculatively as he tried to guess just how many germs and bacteria were currently residing upon the surface. The numbers his mind came up with probably shouldn’t have bothered him, considering the hospital he worked at was chalk full of nasty microbes, even with all the sterile hand wash. Still, it even looked dirty from up here. His brows furrowed and he pulled his head down, slightly disgusted and a little unnerved at the fact that she was staring up his nose. Oh god, did he have something up there? He probably had something up there; he tried to look discreetly around for a tissue dispenser of some sort, but was drawn back to the conversation at the mention of dentists. “Uhm, I think its dentists,” he replied as he lowered himself cautiously to the floor, in a much more graceful fashion then Xzandr had executed. He looked toward her, his mind half occupied with trying to figure out when he’d become such a pansy; he knew something was wrong when he was concerned over the level of bacteria on the ground.
“Have you, ehm, told your father?” Ryan asked, purely for the sake of wondering if his life was in danger and if he should use a mirror to check the corners any time he left his office. He wasn’t sure if Xzandr and her father even spoke to each other unless they also had each other in a headlock. He watched her carefully, almost thirty percent certain this could be a question that would piss her off. To distract himself, he absently picked at the toe of his dress shoes, wondering if he left scuff marks when he walked. That would be a royal waste of shoe.
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Realize
Jun 4, 2008 23:02:01 GMT -5
Post by anaxzandra corinne house on Jun 4, 2008 23:02:01 GMT -5
» Xzandr cringed at the word father- she had never called him that. Well, maybe she had as a small child, but never had she ever called him daddy. Ever. It must have been a weird sight, a small child saying father rather than daddy, but Xzandr hardly fit the norms, even at a very young age- but then, was she ever given a chance at normalcy? Was it in her genes to be completely fucked up? In any case, the word made her cringe when anybody- particularly Ryan- used it to describe her own. She didn't think it suited him. If anything, he was an asshole sperm donor that somehow managed to be allowed by the Government to keep her. But she wasn't about to get into that kind of definition debate with Ryan. Not now, not ever. Well, if he dragged her into such a debate, she would fight her point into the back of his skull, but she doubted he was up for it either.
» A small grin found its way to her lips and she had to laugh again; not as hard as last time, but a laugh nonetheless. Of course, this time was probably even more inappropriate than before, considering the question Ryan had just asked. Still, the question nearly threw her into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. Luckily, she was able to control herself, and after a few seconds of struggling to suppress laughter, she managed to regain her composure enough to speak. "Oh, man," she started, taking a glance around the room before looking back at Ryan. "You should have seen the look on his face. It was just... It was one of those expressions you never want to see on his face ever, for any reason." Gregory had had the utmost sinister-looking joyous expression when she'd ended up having to tell him- for obvious reasons. It creeped even her out, and there were precious few things that could lay claim to being able to do so. "He's just completely stoked to have something else to ride me about." She made a point not to say that Ryan would have the man riding him, too; because believe you me, if Greg knew it was Ryan's kid, Ryan would have to deal with more than the occasional awkward encounter with Xzandr.
» She hadn't told Greg, nor anyone else, that it was Ryan's. Was it any of their business? No. In fact, she didn't even tell them about her being knocked up. They figured it out for themselves once she gave up on trying to find ways to hide her ever-more-swelling abdominal region, or bullshitting her way through excuses to wear a lab coat, which offered a bit more of a hiding place. She'd given up a long time ago, and then everybody knew about that. But they didn't know about Ryan. She'd been wondering for a while if, the next time she was forced into an interaction with him, she should inform him that nobody knew it was him, and that he wouldn't have to deal with people talking about him behind his back, or the looks saying 'you're a deadbeat' if he chose not to stick around.
» It was a rare occasion- once in a blue fuckin' moon, some people might say- that Xzandr was at a loss for words. But now, as the silence fell heavily into the room once again, even the ever-rambling Xzandr couldn't think of something to say; there were a few things tossing and turning in the back of her mind, but she was telling herself this wasn't the time nor the place to spout them out; something even rarer, for her, than not knowing what to say. She looked up, at the ceiling, and started tracing one crack in particular with her eyes, until it hurt too much for her to keep tilting her head back to continue following it. Once that was done, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't focus on anything except one thought that kept shoving itself toward her vocal chords. Finally, she gave up forcing herself not to say it, sighed heavily, and spoke in possibly the most creepy tone, coming from her, anyone would want to hear; a half-whisper, with a hint- a very small hint, probably only making itself known to anyone who regularly analyzed vocal stress- of sadness, defeat. "Look, I know I'm just a booty-call gone wrong to you, so you can give up finding a way to say so." She didn't look at him, instead staring at the wall directly in her line of vision.
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Realize
Jun 7, 2008 20:44:00 GMT -5
Post by ry on Jun 7, 2008 20:44:00 GMT -5
Brows rose, her laughter unsettling him a bit. He didn’t think she’d told her father, but if she had, she certainly hadn’t disclosed the fact that it was Ry who had knocked her up. Otherwise, Ry imagined he’d be getting to see a lot more of the elder House, and certainly not in a manner that would set his nerves at ease. It wasn’t that he was scared of the man (except he was) but the fact that Xzandr’s father seemed like the type to grab a hold of one thing and run with it. The last thing Ry needed was to be bombarded by an angry and or amused father, ragging on him for getting his daughter pregnant. Ry could barely handle regular conversation, much less anything from someone as insane and sharp as House. Her words did even less to make him feel safe and he frowned nervously, resisting the urge to look over his shoulder just in case. Ryan was almost glad he and Alex never spoke anymore, as much as he’d liked his adoptive father; he was pretty sure the only thing Alex would be feeling was bitter disappointment. He’d do that stupid self-pity thing and lament on the fact on how he thought he’d raised Ryan better. Thanks, but no thanks. “I don’t envy you,” Ryan said, real sincerity in his voice, because wow, just thinking about what Xzandr had to deal with made him wince in sympathy.
Ryan was sure that he was just about the last suspect of being the father of Xzandr’s child, probably because most people thought he was some sort of robot and wasn’t programmed to socially interact. Which might be a good excuse to use the next time someone tried to have a conversation with him. Still, he was about ninety percent sure that no one would ever know the child was his unless Xzandr told them. Or if he did, but he couldn’t exactly figure out why he’d want to do that. He still wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do, although he was decided that he would not leave Xzandr. Well, unless she wanted him to, and then he’d gladly hack up child support. Lord knows he could afford it, as he never really used much of his paycheck, mostly paying bills and gas money, perhaps the occasional flick on Payperview or something.
The silence in the air should have been comforting, but instead it was downright annoying. Sure, he liked the silence, found it calming, but this particular bout was heavy and thick, practically crushing him. The ground beneath him was hard and for a slight moment he wished he’d gone back to the conference room, at least they had plush chairs there. That desire evaporated almost at once, but still he shifted uncomfortably, tossing his gaze this way and that about the room. It was an interesting room, sure, but not enough to keep him occupied now, but he tried to force himself to look anyway. God, why’d he have to come? Although he wasn’t really regretting seeing Xzandr again, although he’d probably never admit it, he’d started to miss her being around. She was the first person since he’d started working at the hospital to ever say more than twenty words to him. He almost missed her words but sharply focused on them once he noticed. His brows furrowed and his lips pulled down into a scowl and he huffed a small noise, somewhat of a snort that was halfway between affronted and hurt. “Excuse me,” he growled, incredulous. He’d never said that, never even thought that. Sure, the sex had been great, awesome, but she wasn’t a booty call. Hell he’d never had one in his entire life. “I never said that, nor was I going to,” he added, his voice a bit gentler, bemused certainly and a bit cross, but not harsh.
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Realize
Jun 7, 2008 21:28:51 GMT -5
Post by anaxzandra corinne house on Jun 7, 2008 21:28:51 GMT -5
“I don’t envy you.”
» "Oh," she started. "So you don't wish you had amazingly awesome powers of epic awesomeness to be like 'oh that's what's wrong with my patient!' and be like, "BAM!" and everything's fine? That never happens, but still." She understood what he was trying to say, but that little spiel was the first thing that came to her mind, and far be it from Xzandr to not spew that first thing. She knew Ryan meant he didn't envy her being stalked and verbally harassed by her father. Hell, if there was anything she could do- besides, of course, exposing Ryan- to get him to leave her alone, she would. She considered, on many occasions, telling him that the baby-daddy was one of the man's cronies, which, of course, was a complete lie, and she knew he would figure it out eventually, but at least it would distract him for a while, get him off her back. Of course, his poor cronies got enough of the man, and even Xzandr wasn't bitchy enough to sic more on them. That is, of course, unless they crossed her. She wouldn't tell them it was coming, but if one of them pissed her off enough, she would have that little secret weapon.
» After she spoke- or, rather, in the middle of her accusation- she suddenly realized that she probably would have been better off to say such a thing while standing, that was she could run again, and hide for real- hopefully for much longer. Not the most adult reaction to her own inability to hold her thoughts in, but there were probably worse things she could do. Still, the fact remained that she was on the floor, and if she attempted to get up Ryan would know, and probably either help her up or make her stay- and she wasn't sure which she'd hate more. She almost laughed again- though this time, thankfully, she restrained herself. "Like hell you weren't," she growled back, not-so-discreetly looking around for any nearby devices with which she could stand up. She didn't expect him to be a great guy. She didn't expect him to be gung-ho about helping out and sticking around. It might be nice if he did, but she certainly wouldn't expect such a thing of him. Like she'd done her whole life, she expected nothing as a defense mechanism so that when nothing happened, she wouldn't be disappointed.
» She shook her head and looked away, mumbling to herself. "This is bullshit." Did she just say that out loud? Oh well. It was bullshit! She had to deal with carting this guy's pre-human life form in her body while suffering- numerous- adverse effects, and she knew effectively nothing about him. She knew his name and what type of medicine her practiced, but that was just about the extent of it. Hell, for all she knew, he might be married, and that was why he was being such an ass to her. She doubted it, but hey- once again, she didn't really know him. She leaned down- not so difficult yet- with her elbow on her knee, forehead in her palm. She did detect a little bit of warmth, on her head, but figured it was probably the lack of air conditioning in this particular part of the museum- or maybe the tension. Fucking cheapskates, she thought bitterly, thinking, of course, of the museum's head honchos. Honestly, who were they trying to give a heat stroke?!
» Bad timing is bad, a Xzandr always said. The most out-of-place things happened at the most out-of-place times, and of course, she had no control of it. Or, at least, if she'd have sucked it up and acted sooner, she would have had a bit of control over it. But no. Just as she rested her forehead in her palm, her as-of-yet-unnamed (duh) demon-spawn decided to wake up and use her abdominal wall at a punching bag. She groaned a little. "Stop it," she whispered, louder than she intended. Oh, this was ridiculous. Why was she talking to it? Was she going soft already? Getting attached? Impossible. Not our Xzandr!
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Realize
Jun 18, 2008 18:37:19 GMT -5
Post by ry on Jun 18, 2008 18:37:19 GMT -5
Ryan took a moment to appear as if he were actually considering the possibility, but the look upon his face quickly morphed into slightly amused. There wasn’t a lot of on the spot diagnoses in Ryan’s field of medicine. Most of the time he dealt with run of the mill cancers, that even though had unsavory prognosis, were easy to detect. Ry merely rolled his eyes and muttered a, “Yeah, sure,” as he traced a pattern on the floor with his eyes. He wasn’t touching the dirty tile, but instead kept his hands loosely curled and rested upon his thighs. As Ryan really didn’t have many (any) close personal friends, he didn’t have to worry about telling anyone about him getting Xzandr pregnant. The only people who’d care would be the nurses, and that’s only because they fed upon gossip as if it was their oxygen. Occasionally Ry let something slip that had them salivating like dogs, and only because he kept quiet and watched. You’d find out things if you kept your mouth shut around the hospital and just observed. Still, Ry kept as far away from the gossip mill as he could and he’d rather die than have his life or personal business tossed around the hospital for amusement. It was like high school all over again, although he’d managed to stick to the shadows well enough there.
Ry shifted uncomfortably, irritable of having been accused of thinking such things when really, he hadn’t. Okay, maybe a little bit, but he was incredibly offended at the notion that Xzandr would think he’d say something like that to her face. He didn’t have the backbone, and really, he was a nice guy, underneath the whole gruff exterior. Really, really deep underneath. Still, he never had responded well to accusations, and his jaw set as he fixed his gaze on some painting across from him. It was dull, and depicted some war scene done in watercolors, a style Ryan wasn’t exactly a fan of. He swallowed back a retort as she continued to insist that he had been on the edge of saying something of that nature to her, which he hadn’t been, and resisted the urge, only barely, to jump up and storm out of the room. And even though he wouldn’t look at her full on, from the movements he caught out of the side of his eye, he could tell she was looking for a way to get up and away.
He moved to cross his arms over his chest and almost fell over. But it wasn’t enough to distract him from hearing her mutter, and he took his lower lip between his teeth to keep himself from agreeing. Somehow, he didn’t think it would help the situation. He knew she expected him, at least on some level, to be all gallant, to swallow his hesitation down and offer to be there, to support her, and to act like it didn’t scare him half to death. But he just, he couldn’t do that, as much as he wished he could, because he definitely didn’t love the feeling of guilt tugging at him whenever he looked at her or thought about the situation too hard. Mentally he tried to calculate how much longer they had to stay here before it was safe to leave and not be caught skipping out. He gave up after a few moments, the numbers not quite clicking together in his head as they usually did. Oh well. The tension in his jaw was beginning to hurt, so he forced himself to calm down, his hands coming down to rest absently on the dirty floor.
He blew out a breath through his lips, considering lying back so he could stare at the ceiling, as if there was actually something interesting up there, but immediately vetoed the idea. He wondered why he was staying here; honestly, he could probably find a hundred other places in the vast museum to hide out until the seminar was over and no one would be any the wiser. He felt pretty stupid, sitting here, and they really hadn’t solved anything, except the fact that Ryan was a loser who couldn’t be counted on. He was sure she had that fact down and clear. At her voice, he frowned, casting a look over to her, wondering what the hell he’d done now, when he realized she wasn’t speaking to him. A brow rose and he watched her curiously for a moment, but didn’t say anything.
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Realize
Jun 23, 2008 20:36:21 GMT -5
Post by anaxzandra corinne house on Jun 23, 2008 20:36:21 GMT -5
» She was definitely not a psychologist. The last time she had even glanced at a book about psychology or human behavior was years ago. She didn't sit around constantly trying to get into peoples' heads, or trying to figure out why they acted how they did. That's not to say she didn't need to know how to do it once in a while; on more than a few occasions, she'd had to know a thing or two about human behavior and what went on in the deepest parts of the brain in order to convince a patient to accept a life-saving course of treatment they would otherwise outright refuse. The point being, except for the whole lack of tact, and the fact that she just didn't give a damn about 98% of the people she came across, Xzandr would be a good psychologist or psychoanalyst because she could easily detect subtle changes in behavior that would lead to some sort of conclusion. Subtly observing Ryan in her peripheral vision, Xzandr was finally coming to the conclusion that...well, for lack of better terminology, Ryan was a spineless loser that had his head too far up his own ass to ever care about someone other than himself. Who was she kidding, trying to get him to pull his head out? Was there anything he had ever done to suggest that he would ever care for her or his child? No was the only answer she could come up with. So she did the only thing she could to preserve herself- push him away. Obviously, he wasn't close enough physically for her to push (not that she would ever actually hurt him) and, cool as she was, she didn't have extendo-arms with which to reach over and strangle him, but she could easily ignore him. She doubted he would even try to talk to her often anyway, but she vowed that if he did, she wouldn't even acknowledge his presence.
» Obviously, sitting here wasn't solving anything. They were barely saying two words in succession- or, at least, Ryan wasn't- and in the last couple seconds, nobody was saying anything at all. She would rather die of boredom listening to the Old Fart ramble on about how mitosis causes cancer than sit in a room alone with Ryan in silence. If they could fuck, yeah, she would stick around, but there was about .00000001% chance of that happening. But could she really just walk away? Besides the obvious physical barriers preventing her escape- she still had a pretty big lack of ways to stand up- could she really just up and go, could she leave unanswered questions, loose ends? Well, as she thought about it, it would be Ryan's fault. He couldn't get over himself, pull his head out of his ass, and it caused her to leave. She sat up, straightening her back out, and stared straight ahead. Even though she was silent, the wheels in her head were turning. There had to be a way for her to get up without asking Ryan for help, or setting off alarms. Surely there was something... She had to struggle not to vocalize when she got her idea. It was simple, yet effective- genius, if you were to ask Xzandr. She brought her knees up as far as they would go, which was painful but well worth it, and reached back, grabbing the corners of the stand behind her. It would hurt for a moment, especially considering that she had very little in the way of muscle tone and that she was already pretty sore, but once again, it would be well worth it. Shoving against the stand, she managed to lean forward with enough momentum so that, using every ounce of strength in her legs, she stood up, stumbled forward a couple steps, and finally regained her balance, standing up fully. She turned away, brushing off the bottoms of her pants, and then turned again, heading for the door.
» But, at the door, she halted. Should she say something? If so, what? A polite "good-bye"? Or maybe she ought to inform him that, if she walked away now and he did nothing, she was walking away forever... No, she decided. He didn't deserve to know, and besides- she doubted he would react, or care, even if she did tell him. She stayed there only for a moment longer before taking a deep, shaky breath and continuing on. She wasted no time in going back the way she'd come. She listened for signs that the others in the conference were out on a break- she could easily slip back into her seat when everyone else went back in, and if questioned, she could use any number of excuses for her absence- but heard only the click of her shoes on the floor. Ryan would be on his own- she'd be damned if she would provide an alibi for him. But as she approached the lobby outside the auditorium, nobody else was there. She sat down on the bench, leaning back against the wall. Surprisingly, she felt less alone in the empty lobby than she did in the room with Ryan.
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